It's Happened Again

I left Mom's room after she helped me wrap a couple of presents. My brother's room is catty-corner to their room. If both occupants walk out at the same time, they could very well run into each other. I stepped out and my brother opens the door. He sees me and holds up this blacklight flashlight thing, shining it right in my eyes. I told him to stop shining it in my eyes and that this is exactly why I didn't think he should have the really powerful laser that he's been after. (He's been trying to get me to enter a sweepstakes to help him win and keeps asking why I refuse)

He begins to argue, saying that it wasn't in my eyes and that lasers have nothing to do with flashlights, it's like comparing nerf guns to real guns. I explained to him that he's quite a bit taller than me and that where his hand falls while holding up the blacklight is directly in my eyes. His reply was that he was sorry I was short.

I then told him that a person who couldn't handle a nerf gun shouldn't be allowed to own a real gun and that the same holds true with the laser. He didn't mean to shine it in my eyes, but it still hurt. He could just as easily hurt someone with a laser, but I wouldn't believe he would do it on purpose.

This is where it all goes down. He turns and looks at me, asking why I'm pointing out all of his faults on Christmas. I don't know what he's talking about, so I tell him I'm not and that I just wanted an apology. To his credit, he had apologized and I had simply forgotten. I was making lunch for Dad and me, so I was a little distracted.

With one or two steps he closed the distance between us and lowered his face so that it was in mine. He was intentionally whispering, but I could tell he wanted to yell. He was so angry, he was spitting in my face. He told me he was sick of me always starting shit and that it happened every time he was in the house with me. He was tired of me thinking I was better than him and flaunting how perfect I was. All this time he was pressing down on me; not actually touching me, but physically forcing me backwards. I was really afraid he was going to hit me.

I don't think I'm perfect. I don't think I'm better than him. I know that this morning he called me an idiot and I made a point to not reply for fear that he would take it as bragging. That's usually how these arguments start. When he came home crying about his 3.45 GPA, I told him that he made awesome grades, that he did just as well as I did my first semester at college. I made that conscious effort to let him know that he was just as good as me. So why is he still treating me this way? This summer made more sense. He was stressed and feeling unprepared for college. I was the one who had taken it by storm. But he's doing great, or so we all think. Why now?

I am so tired of the abuse. I hate feeling like a victim, and I especially hate victims who are made out to be the bad guys. I know that if I were the bad guy, I wouldn't make conscious efforts like ignoring the insults he so casually flings around or shying away from his fist.

And all of this because he held a blacklight up to my eyes. And to think that I was almost sad this was my second to last break home. Maybe I won't even come home for spring break.

*Gasp*

You will never believe what I forgot to mention. Our chapter has officially been named. We are so in love with our chapter name that the girls have decided that they want to add it to the t-shirts we were planning on having made. Do you want to know what our chapter name is?

ALPHA OMEGA BETA!

We are the Alpha Omega Beta chapter of Beta Sigma Phi. With a little luck, we will soon be the Alpha Omega Beta chapter at Tusculum College. All I have to do is schedule a meeting with the dean and pitch Beta as best as I can.

Maybe I will wear black and yellow. I will definitely wear my pledge pin. I know I'm starting to ramble, but I am so in love with my sorority. Just wait until winter break starts. I have plans for a tote bag, two sweatshirts, and a t-shirt. I will post pictures as soon as I get them all made. Then maybe I'll start making some for my sisters :D

Until such time, back to my honors thesis. I am on page six of fifteen. Not quite halfway, but so close. I am just ready to get it finished.

Living the Dream Part 2

We had officer elections today and I am excited to say that I have been elected president of our newly formed and not yet named chapter. It's pretty bittersweet because I have a ton of other things to do, but I'm hoping that will calm down next semester. Even if it doesn't, Beta is a higher priority for me than several of the other things I am involved in. This is the sisterhood I've dreamed of for nine years, there is no way I'm going to screw it up.

My former outsider friend was elected vice president. She was worried, but I had no doubts. She deserves it and I am confident that someday she will make a great president. Actually, all of the girls who really expressed interest in an office got their chosen office, and I think that is the first step to things running smoothly. One can only hope, right?

Now I need to hurry up and chat with my online chapter and finish my next two pledge training tests. That will be part of my task at work tomorrow. I am determined to be the best sorority girl that I can be :D

Morning Shift

Dear Phone,

Thank you so much for freezing in the middle of your daily update last night. It's a really good thing I didn't actually need that alarm to go off at 6:45 so that I could make it to breakfast before work. I love it when I feel challenged to get ready in eight minutes and I know my supervisors appreciate me being fifteen minutes late.

I also can't wait to try to track down another person who wakes up for breakfast even when they have an afternoon class. It will be another great challenge since I can only think of one off the top of my head. I hope you start being reliable in time for me to send the text message!

Sincerely,
Michelle

P.S.: Though this post may be dripping with sarcasm, I won't let it ruin my day. I know that will get under your plastic casing! MLH

Living the Dream

Remember that sorority I joined in September? Story time! I mentioned in my post "Block 2" that the third student in the class was a quiet girl who referred to herself as an outsider. I pledged to try to change that and was more successful than I could have ever imagined. It turns out that her mom is a Beta Sigma Phi and her dream was to start a chapter on campus. She didn't know how to go about it, though, and was sort of afraid to try by herself, so I promised to help her. Fast forward to November 16, 2011 when I threw a little party for nine young ladies I am about to officially call my sisters.

Don't we all look so happy to be sisters? We spent the rest of the week calling each other "sister" almost exclusively. I wasn't the only one joining because I had dreamed of the traditional collegiate sorority, so I made bid cards for everyone. I even found black, yellow, and white plaid ribbon.

Our party was a luau theme because I was footing the bill for decorations and my apartment already had a light up palm tree sitting in the corner courtesy of my roommate. The chapter in a box packet suggested that we play games to get to know each other, which was exactly what I wanted to do, but their suggestions weren't very college student friendly. One was a version of "Never Have I Ever," which I know from experience can get out of hand quickly and the other was a game of pass-the-sand to build teamwork, which was not about to happen in my living room. The only other game I could think of was "Onion," and that always makes people cry. Finally I came up with "Apples to Apples." That's a pretty safe game that still lets people get a little crazy and has little to no room for tears. See the laughter? I think that is a sign of success.
I thought it was a success, despite my many worries during preparation. Angel helped me with the punch and Nick even made an emergency trip to buy another roll of ribbon for me. I really have the best fiance ever. Overall, it was almost exactly what I would have wanted my bid day to be and I can't wait for our next adventure.

10 Secrets to a Charmed Life

Miles Redd, Matchbook, Feb. 2011

1. Have at least 8 sources of light in a room.

2. Use trays liberally to collect things.

3. Embrace different heights.

4. Something sculptural...can make a dead corner seem exciting.

5. If you don't have time for ironing sheets, just do the pillowcases.

6. A good scented soap makes a wonderful sachet.

7. Eucalyptus Espom Salt...makes a great exfoliating scrub and soothing bath.

8. Eat chia seeds.

9. Screens add dimensions to rooms.

10. Invest in a housekeeper.

http://matchbookmag.com/issues/

I found this magazine online and I am in love with it. Of course it's the kind of magazine that advertises Lilly Pulitzer and Kate Spade (note number ten). I wore my Kate Spade purse until it literally started falling apart. It's the kind of brand I can only afford on ebay. I love looking through the pages, though. It's inspiration for more budget friendly substitutes.

London Pictures!

I finally have a little bit of downtime to upload pictures. Sadly, I only have the downtime because I ran out of ribbon and am waiting for my wonderful fiance to arrive with more. It's downtime nonetheless, so pictures it is. This first one is on the plane to D.C. I wish I had a better picture of the shirts we made. The front says "Team Frederick" and the back says "'You pierce my soul!'" Five of us Austen geeks made them in honor of Persuasion, which we finished reading right before leaving.

The first day in London was rough because we were all suffering from jet lag. We mostly wandered around looking at gorgeous things I barely remember, but they let us take a nap before going to Piccadilly Circus. I was really disappointed with Piccadilly, though, because my first impression of it was a really romantic swing song. In actuality, it's more like London's Times Square. We did get to see the Thames at night and take our touristy London Eye at night pictures, though.

The next day was our first opportunity to try fish & chips before visiting the Tower of London, which was my favorite part of the trip. I only tried chips of course, but still exciting. Anything about that day was made more exciting by the fact that I was going to get to see ravens. The tower ravens mostly live next to the White Tower, which is the palace part of the Tower.

And here's a raven! A REAL LIFE RAVEN! I was just a little excited.

Or a lot. I wanted to touch it so badly, but they bite, so that would have been a dumb move. But it was still really tempting. I did buy a plush raven from the souvenir shop. Its name is Merlin because one of the yeomen told me a story about one of the current Tower ravens named Merlin. They found out too late that Merlin was actually a girl. She hangs out in this courtyard often, so the raven I'm pointing at could very well be her.

The next day was our day tour to Stonehenge, Salisbury, and Bath. The first stop was Stonehenge. Not very exciting, but still my second favorite part of the trip. I've been dreaming about seeing Stonehenge since I was eight. I walked around it, but I didn't listen to the audio guide because it was really chilly, so I missed a couple of things. No regrets, it was freezing!

The next stop was Salisbury. We ate at a little restaurant called The Cloisters and then headed to Salisbury Cathedral. This is a picture of the actual cloisters.

The cathedral houses the world's oldest working clock. It's over seven hundred years old! I took a picture for Nick since he loves all things medieval. Isn't it cool? It's been working almost continuously since it was built. The only exception was a sixty year period around the nineteenth century when they dismantled it and replaced it with a clock that sounded half hours in addition to hours.

The final stop was Bath where we saw...wait for it...the Roman baths. Plot twist, right? They were really gorgeous, but really disgusting. The water was full of algae, pumped through lead pipes, and supposedly a favorite swimming spot for rats and pigeons. We were specifically told not to touch the water, but our group passed one mother encouraging her kids to bend down and play in it. Great parenting, right? I was all the more irritated because I twisted my ankle on one of the cobblestones. I was so glad I brought a wrap!

We also went to go see Westminster Abbey. We weren't allowed to take pictures inside, so hopefully you watched the royal wedding this past April. It was so cool to stand in between the choir lofts and think "I saw the choir singing here on TV! And that's where they had the altar!" It was even more gorgeous in person, though.

Check out the view we had when leaving the Abbey! Big Ben and the London Eye! And the sky was perfect for a picture. The group that went my sophomore year was so jealous we had sun!

Please ignore all of the time stamps. My camera crudded out my freshman year after our trip to D.C., so I was using Mom's. It didn't like me very much. I'm going to find a way to creatively crop or cover the signature when I scrapbook them.

The Best Surprise

Today has been one of those days, you know? Nothing seems to be working out, and I can't just not care. My mantra right now is "deep breaths." In spite of this, or maybe because of, today held one of the best surprises I've had in a long time. Over the break I ordered my textbooks online, so today I made it to the post office to claim my packages four minutes before they closed. I then hurried off to lunch, had to wait for the sandwich line since there was nothing vegetarian, ate quickly, and power walked to class. Once seated, I began opening my packages so I could reference the books. Not once did it occur to me to check the labels, and this is where the surprise comes in.

I ripped open the smallest envelope containing what I assumed was the shortest of the books. I shook out what could plausibly be a very short book, but imagine my surprise when a pin tumbled out, too. Confused, I turned it over to see my letters shining up at me. What I thought was a fairly sketch version of Austen turned out to be a notepad and a handmade card. There was even a pencil. All of them bore our letters, colors, or both, and all were welcoming me to Beta Sigma Phi.

Aren't they cute? I have the best special sister ever :D I have the best sisters ever. Who else can make someone they've never met in person feel so great on such an off day?

Block 2

"I'll be there on Monday nine o'clock and we will see who walks the walk. No, no, I can't wait! I will be there at eight when they unlock the door."

Today was the first day of class and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. He acknowledged that it is a lot of work, but reassured us that the chapters we will be reading are short. The longest chapter in one of our books is apparently only eight pages, so that's really good news. I'm still waiting for my books to come in the mail, though, but he promised to make copies for me if they aren't here by the end of his office hours.

As for the paper, I feel no less prepared than anyone else in the class. There are only three of us, and one of the others hasn't written anything longer than nine pages, and that was for a class last year. She's also concerned about the essay exam, but compared to the ones my adviser gives in her classes, these exams won't be too bad. I can tell this girl is worried, though, so maybe I'll see if they want to do a study group one night. She hasn't had class with either of us before and she even referred to herself as an outsider during her introduction, so we will definitely have to fix that.

Overall, I'm way less worried than I was before. And I hate to admit that the stupid honors director may have been right. But he may have been. Maybe. There are still seventeen days left of class for him to be wrong. Even worse, though, I want him to be right because I want to graduate with honors. Failure is not an option, lol.

Whew!

That better blogger thing is apparently not working out! Time for another round of catch up :D

Good News:

*My shawls were sent to their new home and the recipients loved them. It always feels good when hard work is appreciated and I know that this is definitely the case. Mom's friend was so surprised that she got a shawl, too. She and her daughter can't wait to wear them to football games.

*I made it through my first class and got an A! I have yet to hear back about whether or not I earned my honors component, but I loved the book that I had to read for it and I enjoyed writing the report. Fingers crossed that I get it, because I am SO close to graduating with honors.

*Work study is still going great and tutoring hasn't been a strain on my schedule. I was a little worried I was taking on too much, and I still might be. Which brings us to the not so good news.

Not So Good News:

*This next class might just kill me. We have sixteen days to write a twenty page paper using twenty four academic sources. I promise you that this will be the most I have written on the block schedule. It is also more pages and sources than the minimum requirements for my honors thesis. On top of this, we have to read nine chapters of leadership textbooks every night. That whole bad blogger thing is just going to get worse.

*I'm not a fan of our new honors director. Every conversation I've had with him steers back to what he wants the students to do about reviving the program. At our first council meeting he even stated that he was going to get everything organized so that if he handed it over to someone else, they wouldn't have to do so much work. Really? I can't get over feeling like he doesn't care about the students themselves, just how many he can get to sign up. And if he's already thinking about stepping down from a position he just took over, he isn't very reliable. I'm just really disappointed that out of all of the professors here, he's the one who ended up with it.

But, I saved the best for last!

BEST News:

Remember that exciting news I was going to share soon? Here it is: I am officially a sorority girl! My dream almost ten years in the making has come true, and it is even better than I could have imagined. I am now a member of Beta Sigma Phi, a non-collegiate social sorority that allows their members to stay active for life. I have a lifetime to make up for the fact that I fell in love with a school with no Greek life. My chapter, Online Kappa, is full of such wonderful women and I couldn't be prouder to call them my sisters. I can't wait for my pledge ritual so that I can wear my tiny pin at every appropriate opportunity. I've cut out fabric to make a lettered tote bag and I have more fabric waiting to be cut for a sweatshirt. I will definitely post pictures of them as soon as I'm done. In the meantime, the promise of sewing letters and completing pledge training will be a bribe to finish my school work in a timely manner. We'll see how it works, lol, but I will definitely get my school work done!

So Behind!

Boy do I need to start being a better blogger! In the meantime, let's play catch up.

*I cancelled lunch with "M." It's just not healthy for someone to be in a relationship that they dread even thinking about, hands down. I used the time to pack up for school.

*I finished the gorgeous turquoise and brown prayer shawl I was knitting. Unfortunately, I didn't get any pictures before I left and Mom already gave it to her friend :( But it was awesome and my cables flippin' rocked!

*I have moved back to school and am just starting my second week of class. The professor who was supposed to be teaching the course was changed the week before class started, so I got a much easier professor who handed us a study guide with answers that he swears will be the word for word final. I still can't wait for this class to be over.

*Work study at the library is as awesome as ever! I was also asked to apply to be a tutor this year and had my interview today. I was given an appointment to come back and sign papers tomorrow! I guess it's not a guarantee, but the director said she couldn't see any reason why her supervisor would say no to hiring me.

*My roommates are all awesome. This has probably been the best situation I've been in so far.

I'm also holding on to something really exciting that I should be sharing soon!

Fine Line

Does anyone else feel like there is a fine line between being nice to everyone and being mean to yourself? Just me? Great.

I've always been the person that tries to be nice to everyone, regardless of my first impressions. I want to be friends with everyone I meet and I emphasize to all of my friends that I'm here for them. This usually just ends up with me feeling emotionally exhausted and used. When I have a problem, I never know who to turn to. I know all of their problems and I feel like mine can't compare or I will be burdening them by sharing. So I burden myself instead. The worst case of this is the story below.

I have this acquaintance from high school whom we will call "M." M was always very quiet, even compared to me. She sat in the back corner of the classroom and never really spoke. She didn't act like she had a lot of friends and it seemed like she was going through some sort of inner struggle. I was nice to her, but never really went out of my way to do so. I was equally shy and we just didn't have that many classes together.

Fast forward to college, when M leaves me a seemingly innocent Facebook post asking me how I am. In my experience on Facebook, no one in my generation actually wants to keep in touch with old friends, they just want them to see how much fun they are having with their new friends. Everyone posts the obligatory "how are you" comment, but no one seems to really mean it. So I posted back that I was fine and asked how she was. AND SHE REPLIED! It just kept going and going, and somehow I found myself in the middle of all of her not-so-inner struggles. She spent this past year whining about her father who passed away years ago when I had just lost both of my grandmothers. She talks about how afraid she is of her brother who lives in town, but never once asked me about mine, who recently had a very scary panic attack that I think may have been brought on by undiagnosed paranoia. She talks about having friends that only ever use her and don't really care about her, but I'm starting to feel the same way. She sends me text messages gossiping about people from high school, she tells me all sorts of personal information about herself that I really don't care to know, and she sends message upon message to both my phone and my Facebook until I agree to hang out with her.

End story. How in the world do I end up in these situations? What am I supposed to do? I hate the thought of hanging out with her. I intentionally schedule hair appointments or family dinners a couple hours after our start time so that I have an excuse to get away. I don't even like messaging her anymore because I never know what she is going to send me. I would feel like a terrible person for defriending or blocking her and I'm too non-confrontational to talk to her, but at the same time I feel like a terrible person for feeling this way. I feel like I'm pretending to be her friend simply because I know she's going through some hard times. Will there ever be good times, though? It seems to me that if you can't move on from past traumas, you're just setting yourself up to be miserable. Friends are there for each other through the good times and the bad, and I'm fine with that, but M and I have never really had a good time together, so I'm just there for the bad. That's what therapists are for.

I shouldn't be stressed out about being friends with someone or loathe the thought of going out to lunch with them, so it's clear I don't feel like I'm friends with this girl. Obviously it's not for a lack of trying. If I can set aside my fear of driving to haul her around and send back sweet and encouraging Facebook messages about the results of her medical tests while trying not to puke, I've given it my best effort. I just don't click with her, so I can't figure out why she clicks with me. Is it because I listen to her pity-parties and never ask the same from her? Is it because I respond to all of her sad or angry Facebook posts even when she never responds to mine? I'm starting to wonder if maybe those "bad friends" of hers were simply people that expected her to be a friend in return. Maybe I should be nice to myself for once and act like one of those bad friends. If she can't be there for me, she's not my friend. And I've about had it with wasting time on people who aren't really my friends.

END RANT.

Craft[s] of the [Past Two] Week[s]

So, my last post stated that my next craft would most likely be another charm patch. To make up for that, I decided to knit two patches, then I didn't even get them posted. I know, I'm so bad. In my defense, my phone completely died and all of my craft pictures were on the phone. I got it to work again, though, so here it goes. These are the two patches I knit the week before. The tan one is for the one trip I've made to the beach. Sad, right? I love the beach, so it's a great memory. This is the only picture I have right now, however, because I can't get the charm on the jump ring. I have no fingernails, so it will have to wait until I can enlist someone's help.

The reddish patch is in memory of my grandfather who died a little over four years ago. The red reminds me of the work shirts I remember him always wearing when I was little. I'm pretty sure he held on to them until they got so bad that my grandmother threw them out. It looks almost brown here, but I promise it is a dark red.
The charm actually belonged to my grandfather. He drove delivery trucks, recycling/garbage trucks, and eighteen wheelers. This charm is for Eastern Express, which is out of business now, if I'm not mistaken. My grandmother gave it to me to remember him by, since it is probably the girliest thing he owned.
These are the craft for this past week. Ok, it's not exactly crafty, but it's the most impressive. The other option was my first experiment with the clear stamps that you attach to acrylic blocks. It turned out great, but it was a mini tree embellishing a thank you note. I felt like this took more time and creativity and here's why. These are mini cheesecakes. Why mini cheesecakes? Because my family just moved and I'm trying to use up random old stuff so that we don't have to try to find a place for it in the cabinets. It's also because we just moved and I couldn't find a nine inch pie pan. That would be the creativity part. The time part involves a long search for the electric mixer, finding it, then realizing that I can't run it because my dad sleeps days and had already gone to bed. I mixed by hand "on medium" for three straight minutes and it turned out freaking awesome, so take that. But in all honesty, that was the hardest part about the whole thing. After I measured out all of the mini cakes and smoothed them down, all I had to do was set them in the fridge to chill for an hour.
Here's the final product. I'm sure that they could be eaten without a bowl provided that they had a little less topping, but we have fruit we are trying to get rid of, so why not dump as much as possible on, right?

As far as crafts for this week, I'm going to try to finish some of my grandmother's incomplete cross stitches. I also fixed the mistake I made on the shawl, so it's going great. I even went out and bought a set of size 10 1/2 double pointed needles, which has made cabling so much easier! I also want to print off all of the pictures cluttering up my hard drive and get back to scrapbooking, especially since I have cute, new stamps to try out! We will see how much of this actually gets done, because I also have to pick back up studying for the GRE. Oh, the life of a college student.

Only One More Month...

... until I move back to college! In just one more month, I will be free. Free from my brother's emotional roller coaster, free from my mother's constant guilt trips, and free from my father's narrow minded views of the world and (unknowingly) me. In just one more month, I'll actually be free to be myself. Isn't sad that the one place I can't do that is when I'm with my own family?

I'm so excited to be headed back, but it's also bittersweet. The last three years have flown by and I'm only sort of excited about being a senior. I have a couple of classes I'm not looking forward to and there's the GRE to take. And then I have to take out more loans, find a place to live, start paying taxes. There are lots of days when I feel like this growing up thing sucks. But it's either that or live a lie in my parents' basement for the rest of my life.

On a happier note, one month from today will also be the three year anniversary of Nick asking me out. I think now that we're engaged I'm supposed to stop counting those, but it's better than the couples that count weeks, right?

Craft of the Week: Memory Quilt Patch

I've decided that I'm going to start doing this post on Monday and showcasing the craft that I finished the previous week. I might end up going back to Sundays, but that hasn't worked out so far, so I don't have high hopes.

Anyway, this past week I decided to start on the knitted memory quilt I want to make using old charm bracelet charms. The first patch I made was to celebrate my engagement. I used scrap yarn that was given to me by a family friend, so I can't tell you much about it other than I chose it because it is very close to the color I was wearing when Nick proposed.

The patch has a seed stitch border and a stockinette stitch center.
The charm was a gift from Nick's mother. I wore it on a bracelet for awhile before I figured out that it's only silver plated. I stopped wearing it to preserve the color, which is actually what sparked the idea for the quilt.

It was a quick project that I could finish in twenty four hours because I didn't have time to craft until yesterday. Hopefully next week's will be a little more intricate, but you might see another one of these.

Craft of the Week: Greek Letter Stencils

This week's craft was super simple since I'm at my fiance's house and don't have all of my crafting supplies. I decided to make Greek letter stencils because all it requires is a printer, some cardboard, some scissors, and some paper or fabric. I used paper because 1) I'm not much of a seamstress, so why not practice with pretty paper first? and 2) These aren't sorority letters, they are letters for my honors societies, and very few honors societies actually have members who wear lettered shirts. I love them anyway, so I found a website that lets you design the patterns and backgrounds of the letters before you buy them, chose a white foreground with a black background, print screened the letters I needed, enlarged them to the standard four inches tall, printed them off, and cut them out. This is the first stencil for Sigma Tau Delta, my English honors society.

I used the stencil to trace a sigma on some vintage wrapping paper we found while cleaning out my grandmother's house. No one else wanted it, so I saved it from inevitable recycling. This sheet was a little over four inches tall and the perfect length to make exactly three letters. I thought the sigma outline looked like it almost belonged on the whimsical pattern.
Here's where I deviated from the plan. I actually didn't bring cardboard to East Tennessee, so I traced the full four inch letter onto the paper so that I could keep the stencil intact. What I plan to do when I get home is trace the full stencil on a piece of cardboard, cut off the black outline, and trace the white foreground on another piece of cardboard. That way I have a stencil for a background and foreground. For now, however, I have a large patterned sigma with no background, which I can always change later.
And here's the final letter! That was really easy, right? The hardest part would actually be sewing the letters onto a shirt, I'm sure of it.

In other news, I'm still working on the prayer shawl I mentioned last week. It took me several cast-ons to finally pay attention to my color work, but I eventually realized what I was doing. I also didn't pack a double pointed needle for cabling, so I've been improvising with pencils and bobby pins. Not a great plan since I'm a beginner, but it's been working, albeit slowly. Hopefully progress will pick up when I get home to a variety of knitting supplies.

Happy Fourth!

I hope everyone had a great Fourth of July weekend! My celebrations for the day started when Nick got home from work and took me to the park to have a picnic and see the ducks. These little ducklings are the first thing we saw when we got there! The picture's a little blurry, but their mama didn't want us staying too long.

We found a nearby bench so that we could watch the ducks while eating our vegetarian hot dogs! Even vegetarians like tradition! Doesn't it look real? Nick said it tastes pretty close, too. I don't remember exactly what a real hot dog tastes like, but I've always thought they were pretty close.
I wore my new Sperry's from my shopping trip with Nick's mom. Part of the reason I caved is because they were red, white, and blue. So perfect for this weekend!
I made Nick take a picture with me before we left. We needed a new picture together.
As we were leaving the park, this whole parade of ducks started walking up the other side of the entrance towards us. There were more in the grass to the left of the shot. They wanted to enjoy that great, big puddle in the road and go swimming in the marshy area where the ducklings were. They didn't seem to mind us walking through until Nick tried to chase one.

The day ended when we went back to Nick's house and I played the Wii for the first time. I know, I'm so behind the times. Maybe one day I will be caught up, but probably not.

Craft of the Week: Purple Scarf

I started this as a time waster while I was with Mom at one of her doctor’s appointments. I grabbed the first pair of needles and yarn I could find, which turned out to be a bad combination. I intended to make her a scarf with this yarn to match her hat, and I might still. This one might just get donated.

It did reaffirm my love of Kitchener stitch, though. It was my second experiment with Kitchener, and just a quick refresher as to how to start it was all I needed. Hooray for YouTube! Here is a close up of the Kitchener:

Sorry the pictures are so dark, they were taken in my fiance's windowless bedroom. I knit it on size 10 1/2 needles, and it just didn't suit the baby yarn at all. I should have used a smaller size needle to make the rows tighter, but I've been using this pattern for years to make blankets and I've never done it on anything smaller than an 11. By the time I realized that wasn't going to work for a scarf, I had already invested too much time. Either Mom will love it because she's my mom, or I will find an organization that will take it and knit her one that actually matches the hat.

Next I am going to start a prayer shawl for one of my mom's friends. She is the mother of the girl I just finished a shawl for, and she was recently pre-diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder called Sarcoidosis. Her shawl is going to be mostly brown with a turquoise cable running through the center. It will be my first solo attempt at cabling, so wish me luck!

Arthritis Facts

May was National Arthritis Awareness Month, so I made my status on Facebook each day a fact about arthritis in honor of my mom. I promised to compile a complete list with sources in a note, but I thought I would post them here, so that anyone who stumbles across my blog will also be informed.

The following facts were taken from questions on "Arthritis Quiz - Myth or Fact?" found here: http://arthritis.about.com/library/quiz/blarthritismythfactquiz.htm

* “Arthritis or chronic joint pain affects 1 in 3 adults.”

* “According to the American College of Rheumatology, virtually everyone over the age of 75 is affected by arthritis in at least one joint.”

* “According to the Arthritis Foundations, less than half of rheumatoid arthritis patients under 65 years old who are working at the onset of the disease are still working 10 years later.”

* “Arthritis is not a modern disease. Arthritis has been found in ancient Egyptian mummies and Neanderthal man.”

* “Regular, gentle exercise can reduce arthritis pain and discomfort.”

* “Inactivity may cause arthritis patients to be out of shape, weaker, less flexible, and have more pain. It is important to remain as active as possible.”

*“Arthritis is treatable. There are many treatments and medications which help control arthritis symptoms and reduce joint deformity.” There is no cure for arthritis.

These facts were taken from the Middle TN Arthritis Walk page found here: http://www.kintera.org/faf/home/default.asp?ievent=424480

* “Juvenile arthritis is one of the most common childhood diseases in the United States.”

* “Arthritis is the most common cause of disability in the United States.”

* “Arthritis affects more than half of adults with diabetes and heart disease.”

* “There are more than 100 forms of arthritis and related diseases.”

* “Half of all adults will develop symptomatic osteoarthritis of the knee at some point in their lives.”

* “Arthritis results in 9367 deaths [and] 992,100 hospitalizations annually.”

* “39 million physician visits and more than 500,000 hospitalizations are attributed to arthritis.”

* “Arthritis and rheumatic conditions cost the U.S. economy $128 billion annually.”

* “Two thirds of the people that have doctor-diagnosed arthritis are under the age of 65.”

* “Walking 30 minutes a day can reduce your risk for certain kinds of arthritis.”

* “For every 1 [pound] you lose it is 4 [pounds] less pressure on each knee.”

* “By 2030, an estimated 67 million Americans aged 18 years or older are projected to have doctor-diagnosed arthritis.”

* “[66 million] adults and nearly 300,000 children suffer from arthritis.” (I put this one last because I updated it with information taken from the next source. Please note that we are 1 million away from the projected 2030 number 19 years early.)

The next source was "101 Interesting Facts about Arthritis" found here: http://www.arthritismd.com/arthritis-facts.html

* “Many types of arthritis are systemic, i.e., they are not limited to the joints. In such diseases, practically any organ of the body may be affected, including the heart, lungs, kidneys, and skin.”

* “Arthritis is second only to heart disease as a cause of work disability.”

* “Almost half of those afflicted with arthritis have one of the two most common types of arthritis, osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis.”

* “Injured joints are more likely to develop osteoarthritis than joints that have not been injured.”

* “Rheumatoid arthritis, the most common chronic inflammatory arthritis, accounts for 22% of all deaths due to arthritis.”

* “Juvenile rheumatoid arthritis has two peaks of onset: between 1 and 3 years and between 8 and 12 years.”

* “Not all arthritis is persistent and lasting. Many are limited and of brief duration.”

The final facts were taken from "Arthritis Facts - Fast Facts About Arthritis" found here: http://arthritis.about.com/od/arthritisthefacts/a/arthritisfacts.htm

* “Arthritis literally means joint inflammation. ‘Arth’ refers to the joints, and ‘itis’ refers to inflammation.”

* “The most common form of arthritis is osteoarthritis, sometimes referred to as wear-and-tear arthritis or degenerative joint disease.”

* “Osteoarthritis affects more than 20 million people in the United States.”

* “Rheumatoid arthritis is...an autoimmune disease [that] affects 1.3 million adults in the United States.”

It's not MLA, but it's credit, so I hope it appeases any format police out there :D

Shopping...

...with the future Mother-in-Law. Don't get me wrong, I love her, but we are polar opposites. My love is most comfortably expressed from a distance, typically through cute birthday/Christmas/thank you cards. We were much closer until almost two years ago when we had a falling out. She tends to nag, she had been doing it all day, and she said something that truly hurt me. I replied with something rude, which I swear is out of character for me. But it was very rude and she flew off the handle. It was a little much considering I had never given her so much as a frown for the past year I had been dating her son, but it's all water under the bridge. Except that this last year I haven't visited his family nearly as much and I am half afraid to say anything for fear it will be taken the wrong way. We aren't on rocky footing, we just don't understand each other. She is very outgoing and loves to go out to clubs with friends. I am very shy and quiet, and the few clubs I have been to are not dance clubs, they are hole-in-the-wall music venues where my fiance's bands have played. And let's be honest, I was only there to support him. So when I asked him to make sure it would be ok to visit this summer, he responded that his mother didn't have a problem with it, but wanted to know if I would go out and do things with her, specifically shopping. Nick's taking summer classes, and he works evenings, so why not? What else am I going to do alone in his house for two weeks?

Today was shopping trip number one. I'm not sure if there will be more, but I'm calling it that anyway. It went remarkably well, just like our shopping trips pre-misunderstanding. She needed to run out for shoes, found a pair for both of us, decided I needed to go to this other store with her, wheedled me into telling her what I liked, and bought just as much for me as she did for herself. I know she likes to spoil me because she only has sons, but I feel bad because it's not her job to buy clothes for me. And I don't even ask for anything! She begs me to tell her what I like until I cave on one item, the cheaper the better. But it's never enough. Today's spoils were a pair of plaid Sperrys (on sale, thank God), two pairs of striped panties, and a pair of white shorts. She wanted to get me a top, too, but fortunately the one I agreed to try on didn't fit.

At some point during all of my resistance, I realized that I was actually kind of enjoying myself. My mom doesn't do much shopping since she was diagnosed with Rheumatoid, and when she does shop, she is limited in the clothes she can wear comfortably and the time she can spend searching for it. Even with the guilt I was feeling at being spoiled, I had fun walking around and giving her my opinion on clothes and shoes. Maybe I like shopping more than I realized. I just have to keep this realization in check, lol.

Whew!

The yard sale is officially over and was unexpectedly successful. I honestly thought most of the things sitting out there were junk, but a lot of it went home with people who were thrilled to get it cheap. I guess it proves that one man's trash is another man's treasure.

To-do:

*trade in old textbooks

*ship back incorrect lavaliere

*pack for Kingsport

*continue unpacking moving boxes

*find yarn for prayer shawl

Things that made today awesome:

*the rain didn't last very long

*my parents understood my mild freak out about the books getting wet

*the hand vacuum was still in the house, so I could use it to dry the pages of said wet books

*none of the books were badly damaged, so I can still trade them in online

*the exercise bike didn't sell, so I still have a chance of talking my parents into letting me have it

*I got to go outside and play fetch with Domino in our new yard

*I got to eat strawberries and sugar

Now if I could just find my craft bag and figure out which box my GRE books got packed in, everything would be perfect.

Things I Learned at VBS

That's right, Vacation Bible School. My family has attended our church since I was six months old, so I still attend when I am home on break. I even babysit for the Pastor's family, who know my beliefs and have no problem with them. So each year his wife calls me a few weeks before VBS and asks me for the same favor: to fill in xyz spot that they can't convince anyone else to cover. She always counts on me saying yes, and I always do. This year the theme was "Shake it up Cafe," and xyz spot happened to be the Lemon class, comprised of six rising kindergarteners. Upon reflection, I wonder if I didn't learn more than they did.

Lesson 1: Good teachers play tag.

After coming in from recreation, one of my little boys told me that he was glad I was his teacher because I played tag with him. I'm sure he was just giving me a sweet compliment, but maybe he appreciated it on a deeper level because I took the time to get involved in what he wanted to do instead of just leading him from class to class all evening. It's a good lesson for everyone: don't just go through the motions, get involved in what you are doing.

Lesson 2: Jesus Christ coming to your party is not as cool as Justin Bieber coming.

This one was purely silly, but it made me laugh. The storyteller was trying to get the children to realize how special it was that Jesus came to the Festival of Booths, so she compared it to Justin Bieber unexpectedly showing up at your birthday party. One of the little girls got excited and said that she is a big fan of Justin Bieber and also Taylor Swift. Trying to get them back on track, the storyteller said that Jesus showing up was bigger than both of them combined. The little girl gave her a look of five-year-old disbelief and as respectfully as she possibly could muttered a simple "nuh-uh."

Lesson 3: Giants live at the top of barley, grapes, and wheat.

By the third night, the storyteller had given up on trying to get the children to listen attentively to the stories, which were admittedly long and fairly dry. This time, she came prepared with a game that tied into the story. As the children pretended to grow the ingredients needed for the festival, they held up their arms, showing how high their plants had grown. The teacher, trying to encourage them, pointed to one girl and said "your plant is going to touch the clouds." The little girl sitting next to her looks up at her arms and yells "oh no, a giant!" Every child broke out in a chorus of "Giant! Giant!" Remarkably, the teacher was able to use this to her advantage, and story time became a little more popular. Lesson: when children speak, listen. It just might connect to what you're trying to convey.

Lesson 4: Little boys can lock bathroom stalls, but unlocking them might be a different story.

Though the kid walked into the bathroom stall, locked it, and managed all of his buttons quite nicely, reversing that process is another story entirely. And though the little boy waiting behind him is scared to use the urinal and can't wait any longer, he will not understand why his female teacher crawled under the abandoned stall to unlock it from the inside. Lesson: little boys aren't always mature, but God isn't done with them yet.

Lesson 5: It is possible to karate a shark to death.

In short, adults need to have more imagination and excitement. If kids can get attacked by 100 giant sharks only shortly after bailing out their pirate ship and survive with a few well-placed karate chops, surely I can find a way to make unpacking from this move a little more exciting.

It was a great week, but with an adventure like these each night, I am glad it is over. Now if I can just survive this yard sale, I will be fiance bound come Monday! I need a vacation from my vacation, lol.

Bitter Inspiration

Looking through my last few posts, I figured out why I haven't been writing. Apparently I only write when I'm stressed out or in a bad mood. I need new inspiration. I have a few ideas to experiment with, but I'm not sure I'll stick with any of them, so let's give it a few weeks and see. Maybe one will be successful, maybe not.

There Is No Point

There is no point in putting on headphones if you are just going to sing over top of it. I would rather listen to the music through my headphones, which I am not singing aloud, by the way.

There is no point paying for four wi-fi connections in the dorm if none of them work. And there wouldn’t be a need for them if you would just make sure the wall plug-in actually works. I guess that would be considered a waste of my tuition money.

There is no point in buying donations for storm victims if I keep forgetting to take them to the box.

There is no point in me pretending like I don’t always end up doing the bulk of the work in a group project.

There is no point in coming to an expensive private college if it means that you can’t afford to buy your own books and supplies and constantly bum off of your classmates. We all have loans, too.

There is no point in trying to buy my GRE study books online when the internet keeps cutting out. That will probably only result in multiple charges to my pathetically low bank account.

There is no point pretending like I’m working on the group project. I am this close to giving up.

There is no point in sitting here trying to be productive when I have so many other productive things I would rather be doing.

There is no point in pretending like I can get anything done with my roommate and her boyfriend in the room. Or that I feel comfortable trying. Like taking a shower, which I need to do. Um, awkward much?

There is no point in pretending that I'm not having a bad day. Otherwise I wouldn't be writing this.

Random Adventures Part 1

After volunteering in the library last night, my boss walks up to me and asks me if I can do a favor for her. Thinking that it is something like shelving books or covering the circulation desk one night, I reply of course. She then asks me if I can meet her at the library this afternoon and open the trunk of her car. She drives an antique Ford convertible of some sort, and the lock is stripped so that the key will not come out after it has been used. She was trying to fix it a couple months ago and accidentally shut it after disabling it from the inside, so even if the key was working, it would not open. This is where I come in. Since the backseat is welded into the car, she removed the area that the top would sit on when folded down, giving her a space not quite a foot wide. After unsuccessfully trying to use a pole to open it, she decided to find a small person, and being short and slender, I fit the bill. My job was to climb over the back seat, crawl into the trunk, and pull on the mechanism so that she could reattach it. All of this took place in the middle of the central campus parking lot, so anyone who passed by had a perfect view of my butt pressing against the plastic window as I disappeared into the little space and then reappeared through the suddenly open trunk. I'm sure it was hilarious to anyone who may have seen, and despite the challenge to my mild claustrophobia, I will gladly laugh with them.

My Second First Post

I got back from a wonderful day of gardening to find my roommate and her boyfriend angry at a blogging assignment they have to do for class. Actually, he was working quite peacefully, but he agrees with everything she says, so they were both technically angry. Anyway, there was no way I could tune out her hatred of Blogger, even with earbuds in, and I vaguely remembered starting a blog at one point, so I decided to see if I still had one. Now that I've found it, I want to amend my previous first post. I don't really write poetry anymore. I found out that my genre is more creative nonfiction, and despite not having a desire to get published, I had my first essay accepted for publication this spring. I still love to knit and I don't think that will ever change. Right now I'm learning to do the kitchener stitch so that I can finish a prayer shawl I made for a Catholic friend. I am still pagan, which is actually what my nonfiction essay was about. Clearly I'm more open about it now, so it probably won't be emphasized more than anything else I write about.

I do have a lot to say, and I intend to say it. It usually makes me feel better eventually.