Rant

Today has been awful. I barely slept last night because my cat kept biting me. Usually she does this when she wants food, but her bowl was full, she had plenty of water, and I cleaned her litter box right before bed. As such, I got four hours of sleep.

I decided to skip church to pack and work on things that I just couldn't bring myself to work on over break. This is my last spring break, so screw being an honors student. Despite my good intentions, I fell asleep packing and didn't wake up until almost two, which is when I had planned to leave. I couldn't have left anyway since my family wasn't back from church yet.

I finally left the house around five, so I wouldn't get back to school until around ten. I was sad about this because Nick was supposed to come over and we wouldn't have very much time together if I didn't get there until bed time. It didn't matter anyway because when I called to tell him that I was an hour away from campus, he informed me that he wasn't coming. I'm beyond caring that he had a good excuse. He always has a good excuse and this one in particular was supposed to be taken care of over break.

Kid you not, right after I hung up the phone I hit the worst traffic jam I have ever been in. Probably worse than even Knoxville. I couldn't be too irritated since the cause was a really nasty looking wreck, but still. The traffic added an extra hour to my trip, so I didn't get back to campus until 11.

I was looking forward to logging onto my email and getting involved in a wonderful online chapter meeting with my amazing sisters. The first email I opened was a notice that there is too little participation in the chapter and that we may be folding after the upcoming term.

That was just the cherry on top. I can't focus on anything I'm supposed to be focusing on. I have a paper I was supposed to finish over break, but I didn't get anything accomplished. Now I'll have to beg for forgiveness and an extension. It's not like it's for a grade, but still. I also need to finish the chapters I was supposed to read for pledge training. And put together an agenda. And write the closing ritual out on the posters. And email the dean for a letter to International.

I'm just too drained to do any of it. I will instead be going to bed without dinner and waking up for breakfast where maybe I can begin to accomplish something.

End rant. Thanks for listening. Good night.

Lattes and Journals

I have successfully completed all nine February Matchbook girl attributes. I ventured out and tried a latte today during break. I certainly cannot say it is my favorite drink. I'm not much of a coffee person and I drink cold drinks mixed with chocolate and other sweet stuff when I do drink coffee. It never hurts to try something new though. :D

During my fun hour (after class and before dinner), I started/developed a project I found on Pinterest. The pin I saw was a calendar journal (see here), and it was something I was sort of doing myself, though not in great detail. I purchased a day planner when I was in London this past October, but was then given one by my future mother-in-law for Christmas. The one she got me is more organized, and definitely more professional, but I loved the other one so much that I decided to record awesome happenings in it. They were just little phrases, like "Tusculum is officially Greek!" and "Didn't bomb the GRE," but they are fun ways to remember things that are important to me. Today I went back and wrote actual entries for each one of those phrases so that I could remember them. In the days that don't have anything, I plan to glue pictures, tickets, or trinkets from the events I enter. And when I actually have some time to really get into it, I will have colored pencil designs going across the pages.

I've really missed journaling, but I haven't had time to do it. This is smaller scale, but still fun, and a great way to use the planner I got. I felt so much better after that hour was up. Maybe now I'll be a little more inclined to work on my journal essay for class. :P

Grad School

I have officially applied for grad school. I requested a copy of my GRE scores over a week ago and Drexel has already confirmed that they received my transcript. This morning I submitted the online portion of the application and registered my recommendation writers before running back to the room to fight with my printer for a hard copy resume, cover sheet, and credit-work experience form.

Why won't Word print the border they let you design? I had it set to the innermost settings and they were still outside the printing range. The worst part was that three sides printed, but the fourth didn't. What the heck is that?

Anyway, I scrapped the border and printed my not-nearly-as-cute-but-acceptable sheet to preface my coordinating resume and sealed them in the envelope with the form. When I went to check my email to confirm the address, I had a new email that included an email address for my resume. *Sigh* They really need to update their online application. After all that work, I was not about to not mail it, so I stuck two stamps on the front of the envelope to make sure it didn't bounce back due to insufficient postage. That would simply be the cherry on top.

So now it's done. I got back from class and found that one of my letter writers had already submitted her recommendation. That would be my boss. I then sent an email to the professor writing my recommendation letter with attached copies of two essays I had written for his class. I'm really hoping he was a good choice. All of the English professors were really swamped when I needed writers for UT and he made sense because he also teaches at UT. Now that I'm not applying to UT, I'm having doubts. I'm sure he'll write an awesome letter, but I'm not sure it will be as awesome as it could have been.

Maybe I'm just freaking out because it's out of my hands now. I have this tendency of putting all of my eggs in one basket. I only applied to one school for undergrad and now I'm only applying to one grad school. I have two other schools with late application dates, just in case, but I'm really not interested in attending them.

I have borrowed a line from Legally Blonde as my mantra for today. "I don't need backups, I'm going to [Drexel]."

January/February Matchbook

I saw this on another Matchbook Girl's blog and thought it was fun. If you don't know what Matchbook Magazine is, check it out here. To briefly summarize, each issue includes a list at the beginning of what a Matchbook Girl is. Obviously Matchbook Girls are a lot of things, so it's all in good fun. I will be going through and checking off what I accomplished and what I didn't.

The January Matchbook Girl:

Toasted the New Year with vintage champagne coupes. Um, no. My mother was in the hospital on New Year's Eve, so I drank the sparkling grape juice in the fridge and watched Jenny McCarthy try to eat a police officer's face.

Knows a neon pink manicure brings mid-winter cheer. I absolutely know this. I also absolutely know that I haven't had time to paint my nails.

Donates old favorites to charity- in with the new! I do donate old favorites to charity. I've been marking clothes hangers this season as I wear something so that I can donate the things I don't wear.

Hangs an Audrey painting for good luck. I'm honestly not even sure what this is. A painting of Audrey Hepburn? Unless it can be hung with ticky-tack or command strips, it's not on my walls.

Thinks a new year calls for new sequined flats. Or not.

Hosts a soiree for her closest friends. Does coordinating the pledge ritual for my sorority sisters count?

Daydreams of a trip to India. Yes.

Is optimistic of things to come. Yes!

The February Matchbook Girl:

Is a year older and a year wiser. Happy first birthday, Matchbook!

Considers sugar cookies her specialty. I love sugar cookies. That's the only cookie I've made so far this school year and I drove an hour to do it.

Daydreams about living at Downton Abbey. I looked this up. I haven't seen the show, but the pictures look beautiful. I fell in love with England and I would not mind living there.

Plans to reinstate the ritual of afternoon tea. I love the actual ritual of tea, but I am not a tea drinker. I am working on this, though, so yes.

Has painted her rental three times. I've wished I could paint my dorm room about three thousand times, so yes.

Rereads her favorite novel every year. If a play counts, then yes. I read A Midsummer Night's Dream every year on midsummer.

Crafts homemade Valentines for her friends. This year I crafted strings of rose petals, mod podge & mason jar candle holders, cucumber finger sandwiches, and cherry Sprite cubes for the Valentine's social, so yes.

Prefers her latte with a heart design. I like pictures of them, but I don't really drink lattes. Number one, the only Starbucks here is the Perk on campus, and that's a questionable representation of Starbucks. Number two, I'm not much of a coffee person. If I drink it, it has to be cold.

Thinks this celebration calls for cake! I have eaten cake! Hooray!

January: 5/8 February: 8/9

I rocked February, mostly on technicality. Maybe I will find a latte somewhere in the next four days. Try new things and what not. I'm sure Matchbook Girls like to try new things. :D

Hair and Girliness

I will freely admit that I am hopeless with hair. I have awkwardly wavy hair. It's not wavy enough to leave alone, so I have to either straighten it or curl it if I want to appear put together. I really want to perm it, but I've been told by multiple stylists that it is too thick to take the perm well. It would end up frizzy and even more awkward than usual. So I'm left to style it each day.

Unfortunately, I don't have much inclination to do this. I really do try to care, but wacking at my hair with a hot tool each morning makes me sweaty and cranky, which is not how I like to start my day. So I typically pull it back somehow, leaving it to it's natural contrary-ness. In the meantime, I dream of beautiful curls that don't involve toxins, millions of curlers, or a curling iron.

Imagine my hope when I stumbled across a few techniques on Pinterest. The first was rag curls, which I had heard of before. Trying to untie the little strips of fabric is about as pleasant as fighting with the curlers. I had to have Nick help me the last time I did it. The second involved wearing a headband around my forehead and wrapping strands of hair around it. This only appealed to me as a last resort. The third, however, had some potential. Meet the sock bun:



Basically, you cut the toe off of a sock and roll it into a sort of scrunchie. You then pull your hair into a ponytail, slide the sock scrunchie to the tip of the ponytail, and start rolling the hair around the sock bun until you reach the base of the ponytail. I used the sleeve off of an old shirt, which was hanging out in my craft bag until I could find a use for it. This bun was my second attempt and it was a vast improvement from the first. That's my way of saying that even the most hopeless of hair victims can figure it out with a little practice.

So far this was too good to be true. The hair in the picture was gorgeous, hence why it was pinned to Pinterest. I was thinking that if it came out looking half that great, I would be pleased. Especially with my semi-wonky beginner bun. So here's how it turned out:
Note the little gold blur over my heart. That's my pledge pin! Monday was Alpha Omega Beta's very first chapter meeting :D
Sorry for the mirror picture. I wanted to get the back before I posted it for the world to see and nothing else was working out.

I sort of like it. It was a little...bigger than I had planned. I felt borderline 80s, but that's probably because I draw as little attention to myself as possible. One can only complain so much, though. I will definitely try it again. This time I will wait for my hair to dry a little more so it doesn't look damp and piece-y when I take it down.

In the meantime, check out the headband I made to keep my ears warm. The pattern is by Lauren Riker and it's called "Bow Head." She states that, according to Urban Dictionary, a bow head is "a woman who wears a bow in her hair, who often has an annoyingly perky personality and may be overly interested in things like her sorority." I mean, that doesn't describe me at all, right? I've only spent the past semester rounding up every scrap of fabric and plain clothing I own to make letters. No way am I perky and sorority obsessed. Or sarcastic.

Speaking of which, I'm getting letters as my very belated Yule gift from my fiance! He waited too long to order my first choice, so I sent him three links to letters I had designed and told him that I would forgive him for being a procrastinator if he ordered one. I'm so excited to see which one he picked! He will be here either Tuesday or Wednesday and I'm really hoping that they will have arrived.

I'm also really hoping he likes his gift, which I have been waiting to give him so that we can do a gift exchange like we always do. His gift is a purple checked dress shirt from Brooks Brothers. He desperately needs professional clothes for after he graduates, so I have been scouring eBay and Etsy to find him some good ones. To supplement those rare finds, I took him to Goodwill a few weeks back and he pulled a shirt off of the rack that looked very similar to the one I got him. I had to talk him out of it and he was convinced that it was because I hated it. I was trying to convince him that I liked the shirt, but he just couldn't buy it without giving away why he couldn't buy it. I'm still pretty sure he thought I hated it, so I can't wait to see the look on his face when he opens this one.

I hope you all have a great week!

Link for Sock Bun: http://aspottedpony.com/for-moms/how-to-use-a-sock-to-get-beautiful-curly-hair-without-heat/1517/

Link for Bow Head Pattern on Ravelry: http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/bow-head-bow-headband

The New Year

I'm a little late on this, but my New Year was a little hectic. Mom was in the hospital over the weekend because her a-fib was acting up, so there was little to no sleep and celebration. Daniel and I drank sparkling grape juice by ourselves while watching Jenny McCarthy make out with a random police officer.

But that's not the point. The point is that I made a New Year's resolution and am trying to put it out there publicly in the hopes of being held accountable for it.

Much like years past, my resolution is to do yoga each day this year. So far I'm off to a good start. Last night I did my mini workout and then held downward facing dog for a whole 8-count longer than I really wanted to. Today I did my morning yoga routine that I found on YouTube.

We'll see how things turn out once school starts, but I'm hoping that publishing my success on the internet helps me keep it up!

It's Happened Again

I left Mom's room after she helped me wrap a couple of presents. My brother's room is catty-corner to their room. If both occupants walk out at the same time, they could very well run into each other. I stepped out and my brother opens the door. He sees me and holds up this blacklight flashlight thing, shining it right in my eyes. I told him to stop shining it in my eyes and that this is exactly why I didn't think he should have the really powerful laser that he's been after. (He's been trying to get me to enter a sweepstakes to help him win and keeps asking why I refuse)

He begins to argue, saying that it wasn't in my eyes and that lasers have nothing to do with flashlights, it's like comparing nerf guns to real guns. I explained to him that he's quite a bit taller than me and that where his hand falls while holding up the blacklight is directly in my eyes. His reply was that he was sorry I was short.

I then told him that a person who couldn't handle a nerf gun shouldn't be allowed to own a real gun and that the same holds true with the laser. He didn't mean to shine it in my eyes, but it still hurt. He could just as easily hurt someone with a laser, but I wouldn't believe he would do it on purpose.

This is where it all goes down. He turns and looks at me, asking why I'm pointing out all of his faults on Christmas. I don't know what he's talking about, so I tell him I'm not and that I just wanted an apology. To his credit, he had apologized and I had simply forgotten. I was making lunch for Dad and me, so I was a little distracted.

With one or two steps he closed the distance between us and lowered his face so that it was in mine. He was intentionally whispering, but I could tell he wanted to yell. He was so angry, he was spitting in my face. He told me he was sick of me always starting shit and that it happened every time he was in the house with me. He was tired of me thinking I was better than him and flaunting how perfect I was. All this time he was pressing down on me; not actually touching me, but physically forcing me backwards. I was really afraid he was going to hit me.

I don't think I'm perfect. I don't think I'm better than him. I know that this morning he called me an idiot and I made a point to not reply for fear that he would take it as bragging. That's usually how these arguments start. When he came home crying about his 3.45 GPA, I told him that he made awesome grades, that he did just as well as I did my first semester at college. I made that conscious effort to let him know that he was just as good as me. So why is he still treating me this way? This summer made more sense. He was stressed and feeling unprepared for college. I was the one who had taken it by storm. But he's doing great, or so we all think. Why now?

I am so tired of the abuse. I hate feeling like a victim, and I especially hate victims who are made out to be the bad guys. I know that if I were the bad guy, I wouldn't make conscious efforts like ignoring the insults he so casually flings around or shying away from his fist.

And all of this because he held a blacklight up to my eyes. And to think that I was almost sad this was my second to last break home. Maybe I won't even come home for spring break.